Calcium Score

As I sit waiting in the radiology office, I feel safe, or am I? I’m here for a CT scan, a calcium scan of my heart. I eat a Mediterranean diet, but I drink more than the doctor wants me to…

There’s a young woman in the waiting room — probably her first mammogram, and several people my age or older, and who knows what kind of radiation they’re getting or what’s being checked. Then a man rolls his wife in. Does she have Parkinson’s disease? As I glance at her, her hands shake, and I shudder inside. Could this happen to me? Still, I often feel immortal, refusing to accept that I’m getting older. Getting older! I’m almost 71, but how much older do I think I’ll get? The cross-hatching in my face mocks my culturally generated attachment to youth.

Calcium score zero. Safe for now.